Throughout the years I’ve given a lot of advice that I never could take (that would just be silly, come on now!). If there was any advice I wish my younger self would’ve stuck by post-break up, it would definitely be the list below.
1. You cannot be friends with your ex. YOU JUST CAN’T. We all want to think we’re mature enough to remain friends with an ex, but it’s not even about being mature. It’s about being honest with yourself, and the truth is feelings don’t end just because a relationship does. Exes are exes for a reason and it’s not to BE FRIENDS. At least not right away. Not until you both know there are absolutely no more feelings involved, and even then it’s all fun and games until one of you gets involved in a new relationship. Just trust me on this one.
2. Don’t go back on your word. This is where you have to be really, really honest with yourself. Be careful when you say the following:
This is the LAST time
I’M DONE
Leave me alone
Especially if you know you don’t really mean it. Our minds like to pretend we mean it, but deep, deep down inside our hearts know we don’t. The moment you tell the other person this and then go back on your word is the moment they know they can disrespect you. Your word is your bond. The next time you say something you don’t mean, think about your asshole ex telling you “I won’t lie/cheat on you again” and check your integrity.
3. YOU DO NOT NEED CLOSURE. You do not need to go to his house for that one last conversation to get all your questions answered. To get that apology. To get a box of your stuff, etc. etc. Because sometimes you’ll never get that apology you deserve, you don’t even wear that shit anymore, and let’s face it – this isn’t an attempt at “closure” it’s an attempt at opening once last door to making it work. You know how many times I’ve met up with a man to get closure and actually got closure? ZERO times, which leads me to the next one …
4. STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. Just. Stop. You won’t get over him if you’re still under him. And don’t give me none of that, “At least if I’m having sex with him then I know he’s not having sex with someone else” or “But I already know him, I don’t want to fuck someone else”. This is why you don’t need to see him/her for closure. All closure gets you is into another bad relationship cycle or a dick in your mouth – or both.
5. YOU WILL GET OVER HIM. You will. I promise. I bet my life on it. You know why I can do that? Because I swore on my own life that I would never get over the man that broke my heart. I swore this at least 3 times with 3 different men. So you see my beauty, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY GET OVER HIM.