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Sinners and Saints

Notebook of Love – I AM MAD AT YOU. Because one thing I’ve learned is “nice guys” don’t exist, and unlike the homie Jey’s post here I’m not being even the slightest bit sarcastic. Anyone is capable of anything. Therefore I stand by my theory that nice guys can be assholes and assholes can be nice guys IF they want to be (btw I’ve recently discovered that this IF factor weighs heavily on IF it’s the right time more so than IF it’s the right girl).

So does this mean there’s no such thing as a “bad guy” either? I’m posing that as a question rather than a statement because I’m still not so sure I believe the notion quite yet. Douchebags, you need more people. Because I refuse to believe that Casey Anthony is really a good person underneath her “heartless, no reverence for the human life, baby-killer, poppin bottles after a not-guilty verdict instead of finding her daughters murderer” facade.

Apparently you can get away with murder and still be homies with St. Peter. Because good people are not exempt from making bad decisions. I know I’ve made a few I’m not so proud of, but am I really to believe that I’ll be sitting next to Hitler in heaven because everyone is a good person at heart by default? I’m starting to think it’s a cop out.

On a much less dramatic but much more common scale, what about the cheaters? The homewreckers? The physically abusive? The verbally abusive? Sure he sent his girlfriend to the emergency room with a broken nose and fractured rib but he’s never missed a single one of his son’s baseball games. She keeps fucking her boss, her married neighbor (and her neighbors best friend) while her husband is at work but she makes sure his shirts are ironed every morning, and dinner is ready as soon as he walks through the door at night.

Like I mentioned here, my good guy is her asshole. And just because he makes a horrible boyfriend, he’s still an awesome boy friend. But what happens when this “good person” is a repeat offender? What happens when they take advantage of the God good in you? Surely the “but s/he’s a good person at heart” disclaimer has an expiration date right?

It does. It’s when you say it is.

Just because he’s a good guy, it still doesn’t mean he’s good for YOU. And just because you love her, it doesn’t mean you should be with her. After a while the disclaimer is no longer a scapegoat the assailant of love uses. It’s an excuse those on the receiving end of these bad decisions make for these assailants. An excuse for their behavior. An excuse to give yet another chance. An excuse for us to settle. I’ve handed out excuses like lollipops in my lifetime.

My knight in shining armor was AMAZING until he turned into the fire breathing dragon he once saved me from. And my “bad guy” treated me damn good every single time we were together. So after all is said and done, and the smoke clears who is to blame? Who is the bad guy? Who is the victim? Who do we point the finger at? Ourselves. Because a person will only treat you as bad as you let them.

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