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Please The Main Squeeze (handle with care).

Last month me and a group of friends grabbed some drinks in the city. Judging by the crowd I anticipated that there would be a lot of people watching going on that night. Just when I was ready to change the channel on life, things got interesting and I had a comfy front row seat. To protect the not-so-innocent, I will now refer to the people involved by random uhhh … Marvel comic code names.

I remember talking to my boy Juggernaut with Mister Fantastic standing right next to me. Then Spider-Girl walks in, and instantaneously Mister Fantastic makes the nervous “Oh shit” face. You know, the face one usually makes when two or more people you’re currently fucking (or fucking with) are in the same room. So naturally, Mister Fantastic runs over to Spider-Girl with the super powers of Flash. It went down just like clockwork. Like a movie script, and all I was missing was some pop-corn.


The “Oh shit” face is still a reoccurring joke amongst me and Juggernaut, but a serious point did come out of it. He referred to Spider-Girl as being Mister Fantastic’s “main”, and just when I was about to blurt out some smart-ass remark he put me on to a different perspective on the label. He said that being someone’s main doesn’t necessarily mean they care about you the most. It means they know that you care about them the most. 

Though questionable, I put myself in Mister Fantastic’s shoes and it made sense. While I would want the person I cared about most to feel like a priority, I may try to appease the loose canon first in order to avoid them causing a scene or even worse, an Instagram/Facebook/Twitter rant. At some point I’d probably take a shot, think to myself “Fuck the both of you!” (if I haven’t already), and just leave. But what it all comes down to is consideration. You can be honest without being inconsiderate.

My main concern is to treat people the way I’d want to be treated if the roles were reversed. In the long run, you end up caring about the feelings of the person you care most about anyway. Ideally, they’ll care just as much as you do. Until then “mains,” don’t forget that if he really cared, you wouldn’t be his main – you’d be his only. And if a man is only as faithful as his options, we really gotta stop being “mains” and “sides” at his buffet.

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