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It’s Complicated – TBT 09.20.11

There are some things that immediately turn me off upon first meeting a man. There’s bad hygiene, raggedy kicks, cockiness, and no sense of humor just to name a few. But one of the biggest turn-offs of all is when I ask them if they have a girlfriend and they respond, “It’s complicated,” or, “I got a situation.”


I already explained in this post what all that really means, but let me tell you why hearing those words from someone you’re interested in is an even bigger let-down than hearing, “Yes, I have a girlfriend.”

For one, it makes you sound SHADY. If your situation was in front of you I’m sure you wouldn’t even be talking to me, what more referring to them as your “situation”. Second, it makes you sound like a BITCH. Not a pimp – a bitch. Like a man or woman too scared to take control of their life. Lastly, and most importantly, “It’s complicated,” rarely ever really means it’s complicated.

It could mean the two of you have a relationship, but no title. Or maybe you’re in between breaking up or getting back together. Sometimes it means you and your ex still live together, or still have joint accounts together, and a car under your name. Maybe it means you have a main, but indulge in the occasional side dish. It could mean you got a jump-off pregnant. Or maybe you and your on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again girl/boyfriend fight like crazy and ultimately shouldn’t be together but have so much history you just can’t let it go. Perhaps it means your definition of “true love” are Ronnie and Sammi from The Jersey Shore.

Whatever it means, it doesn’t mean it’s complicated. It’s only as complicated as you make it. If anything, the only person it becomes complicated for is the person that’s asking. “Situations” are red flags, but it doesn’t raise a white flag for some of us. So maybe instead of asking, “Do you have a girlfriend?” we should ask, “Is there anyone that would be mad at you if we hung out?” Now see, that just sounds like you’re asking for a situation.

You know, all of this could be easily avoided if people would just be straight up about their shit. But God forbid you tell the truth. That would just be waaay too complicated.

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