I'm sorry I didn't love you.
Touch you. Kiss you.
Hug you.
The way you wanted, the way you deserved.
I wanted to so bad, but not all of me was in it.
I wanted to so bad, but I just couldn't feel it.
The parts that should've burned felt tepid to touch,
and the arguments put out the flames every time there was a spark of hope.
You were out of line. I was in my head. You weren't in me. Then, you were out the door.
But I just loved you so much. Too much.
So much that I continued to be in a relationship with your potential. Our potential.
Until the peace was replaced with resentment and the hope was replaced with unfulfillment.
And I'm sorry for doing that too.
I thought it would happen. I waited for it to happen. I really thought it would happen.
I'm sorry I didn't love you.
Stroke you. Breathe you.
Feel you.
Wrap my mouth around you.
The way I should've wanted to.
You must've felt so dejected, having been rejected so many times without me even realizing what I was doing by not doing anything at all.
Because you weren't any less handsome. Or funny. Or charming. Or sexy.
And I wasn't any less in love with you.
I just couldn't make as much love to you.
And as much as it killed you, it killed me too.
To miss the mark by a thousand miles just inches away from each other.
I never told you why, because I didn't know.
I just know that I'm so sorry.