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Fifty Shades of Horny

Like I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been vicariously living through Anastasia Steele ever since picking up Fifty Shades of Grey. But just as controversial as the book itself, is the discussion of who would play the characters in the upcoming movie. Here are my top picks for some key players in book one.

Ian Somerhalder as Christian FUCK ME NOW Grey. Let me preface by saying that a 25 year-old Christian Bale will always be my number one pick – have you seen American Psycho? Asides from looking good in sex scenes, he also looks damn good in a suit, and is an asshole when it comes to authority. Having said all of that, Ian Somerhalder of The Vampire Diaries is def my second pick. It’s all in the eyes. Like Ness said, “He’s smoldering.”


Demi Moore as “Mrs. Robinson”. I was against this at first, but after mulling over Heather Locklear, Courtney Cox, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sharon Stone, Halle Berry, (Kim Kattrall is too old for my taste, and Stacey Dash is too young looking in my opinion) it only made sense to use Demi. Plus her career could use a nice pick me up after the whole Ashton Kutcher divorce train wreck. However, her highest selling point was being able to imagine her command Christian Grey with her seductive, raspy voice. Besides, she’s pretty much Mrs. Robinson in real life anyway.


Dianna Agron as Kate Kavanagh. I’m not even done with book one yet, but from what I’ve read so far Kate is supposed to be an obvious beauty. Outgoing, confident, with an over-protective “bitchy” edge to her. I feel like Dianna’s onscreen persona, Quinn captures the latter, and her real life personality as seen when she got Punk’d exhibits the former.


Emmy Rossum as Anastasia Steele. I’m gonna go ahead and be real honest with you – I’m a hater. I’m fully aware that Christian Grey isn’t a real person, but I don’t care I’m a hater and as far as I’m concerned – I’d be the best fit for Anastasia Steele. Both our names start with an “A” for crying out loud, it only makes sense. Seriously though, my bff Ness suggested Emmy and right off bat I could see it, but I still feel like there could be someone better. At the moment however, there isn’t. NO to Kristen Steward, NO to Amanda Seyfried, NO to Mila Kunis, and NO to Emma Stone. I take this imaginary casting shit very seriously, so I don’t just pick someone I like (otherwise Mila or Emma would’ve been it). I go by who looks physically fitting for the role, and who I think would be capable to take on the personality of the character. Emmy is pretty, but not strikingly beautiful to me. She looks childlike, and innocent, but I can imagine her getting all crazy in bed. And look at that bottom lip? My 50 Shades fanatics know what I’m getting at …


Alright, gonna go attempt to finish the first book now! Feel free to share your picks for the characters above, just don’t be busting shit out for me *ahem VANESSA* lol jk.

#demimoore #mrsrobinson #castoffiftyshadesofgrey #diannaagron #iansomerhalderaschristiangrey #emmypossum #castof50shadesofgrey

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