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Catch’n Cases – TBT 12.05.11

When someone does us wrong, the “right” thing to do is forgive, and forget. When someone makes us feel small, the “bigger” thing to do is let it go, and move on. I understand that this is the mature, and probably the best way to go about things. But I also understand if you wish this person would contract an incurable STD as well. You know, just to scare them a lot little, and hopefully teach them a lesson.

They say that when you harbor bitterness, happiness docks elsewhere. That life is too short to hold grudges. And this is absolutely, positively, completely true. But if you want to momentarily sail your ship into some violent waters, I will be glad to direct you towards a windstorm. Because not only do I think it’s OK, but I also think it’s absolutely normal, and sometimes even healthy to be angry. Just don’t stay angry for too long.

Confucius says this, and Gandhi says that. But usually when a motherfucker fucks you the fuck over, you don’t want Mother Theresa’s help. You want Tito-Manny to teach you how to deliver a right hook that will break this asshole’s face. You want to take a Louisville Slugger to his precious GTO that he uses to pick up all his hoez and go Waka Flocka Flame on that ass! You want to see her face as she wakes up in the morning to discover her entire Christian Louboutin/Louis Vuitton collection in a pool of steaming hot horse shit. You want this dipshit’s hairline to start receding, and you want a bitch to get fat. Most of all – you want them to hurt them, just like they hurt you.

Because sometimes, we just won’t feel better until they feel worse. I know that’s some immature, selfish, fucked up shit to say, but it’s also honest. And more than likely it’s still nowhere near as immature, selfish, or fucked up as whatever they did to you to make you feel this way to begin with.

Which is my point exactly. No matter what voodoo you cast upon them, it will never take away the feelings you felt. It will never erase the pain. And it will never reverse what they did. I’m not encouraging you to feel resentment, I’m just saying it’s OK to feel resentful. While you may find pleasure in lighting their Jordan collection on fire or getting them fired from their job, joining the gym, the shooting range, or even a creative writing class is a much more fulfilling alternative in the long run – not to mention cheaper than bail. So let karma catch up to them, and let karma catch a case for you instead.

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