RoseElephant copy.jpg
  • dearabi

Who Do You Love?

I LOVE you. It may not be the “glitter and the gay”, I may not want to shout from a mountain top and I rarely blog about it, but it’s love alright. It’s a grown-up love. One where I respect you, we talk about our feelings and I support you. I LOVE you. But lately, I don’t like you very much.


There are days where I almost hate you. I look at you, and feel disgust and disappointment. Just the other night I took two edibles, so that I could fall asleep instead of marinate in my anger towards you.


Most days I think you're great. I’m glad that I’m with someone who is into meditating and more than willing to things to make us not just work, but flourish. Then, there are a lot of days where I feel like I’m raising someone instead of partnering with someone. But even on those days, I still love you. A lot.


Relationships are simple, but they can get complicated. I can imagine myself walking down the aisle towards you. I can imagine you making sure I don’t lift a finger during pregnancy. I can see our parents spoiling our kids. I can see all of that very clearly. As clearly as I can also see us breaking up.


They say the best way to tell if you should be in a relationship or not is to ask if you like the person YOU are when you’re in it. Since being with you, what I’ve learned most are my flaws. The things I need to improve on. You let me know that I can be insensitive and impatient and because of it I’m working on NOT being all these things.


Do I like the person I am when I’m with you? No, I love the person I am when I'm with you. The thing is, I love the person I am without you too.


104 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

They Know (they know, they know) – TBT 08.22.11

Assholes aren’t very good at many things that don’t make you cry. They flake, have wandering dicks - I mean eyes, commitment issues, and secret girlfriends in other states. One thing they are good at

No Body to Love.

Hi, let’s dance. We can pretend like we came together and I didn’t just see you wistfully staring into the distance then abruptly looking busy on your phone. I’ve seen that look before. You’re tired a

Enough, Already.

I feel dumb. Nobody cares. Why even bother? What would I have to contribute? I haven't accomplished anything worthy of sharing. I was telling my therapist all the reasons why I couldn't - no, wouldn't