Who Do You Love?
I LOVE you. It may not be the “glitter and the gay”, I may not want to shout from a mountain top and I rarely blog about it, but it’s love alright. It’s a grown-up love. One where I respect you, we talk about our feelings and I support you. I LOVE you. But lately, I don’t like you very much.
There are days where I almost hate you. I look at you, and feel disgust and disappointment. Just the other night I took two edibles, so that I could fall asleep instead of marinate in my anger towards you.
Most days I think you're great. I’m glad that I’m with someone who is into meditating and more than willing to things to make us not just work, but flourish. Then, there are a lot of days where I feel like I’m raising someone instead of partnering with someone. But even on those days, I still love you. A lot.
Relationships are simple, but they can get complicated. I can imagine myself walking down the aisle towards you. I can imagine you making sure I don’t lift a finger during pregnancy. I can see our parents spoiling our kids. I can see all of that very clearly. As clearly as I can also see us breaking up.
They say the best way to tell if you should be in a relationship or not is to ask if you like the person YOU are when you’re in it. Since being with you, what I’ve learned most are my flaws. The things I need to improve on. You let me know that I can be insensitive and impatient and because of it I’m working on NOT being all these things.
Do I like the person I am when I’m with you? No, I love the person I am when I'm with you. The thing is, I love the person I am without you too.