Most girls want to be the reason a man settles down. They want to be “the one” that makes a man delete numbers in his phone, and say good-bye to all his hoes. I too, used to be that girl. Wanting to be the reason his boys made fun of him, obsessed with having my own drawer in his room. I didn’t think I could change a man, but like many women I had hoped he would change anyway. One can hope right?
So I did everything I thought I should do. I put in effort and made time like he deserved it, like he actually reciprocated. I cooked, and comforted, and supported, and let him fuck me as if I belonged to him. I acted like a wife without even having exclusivity. Not against my will, but still tainted with the wrong intentions. I wanted to be his girlfriend. Until I found out he already had one.
2,390 miles is far, but you wouldn’t imagine the distance some go to either keep or expose a secret. Suddenly, it’s not so far after all. Karma travels fast.
This man – I think I let out a laugh, and then a wistful sigh whenever I think of him now. But this man, oh he was a piece of work alright. However, I can remember a time when I wanted to be the woman he took to weddings. The woman he introduced to his friends. I just wanted to be his woman PERIOD. I wanted to be the only reason he drove all the way to the TL to get a haircut, and the only reason he’d ever be on a carousel. I wanted to be the reason he skipped basketball practice Saturday mornings, and the reason he stayed home Saturday nights.
And now, I just hope I’m the reason he never cheats again.