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  • dearabi

Over And Out.

Some relationships are over before you even realize they are. When it comes to salvaging relationships, more often than not, we hold on longer than we should. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that there is nothing wrong with this. Personally, I want to make sure I’ve tried everything I could to resuscitate the love before pulling the plug. You just gotta risk waiting too long, and having that shit come back to life as a fucking zombie. Below are three not so obvious, obvious signs that a relationship is over.

You rather be anywhere but with them. This doesn’t mean you rather be at the club with a bunch of your girlfriends, or out with the cute new engineer at work. It’s as simple as just wanting to be alone in your car for 30 minutes after you’ve already parked, because you dread walking into your apartment and seeing your (in)significant other there. Even the job you hate now seems like a sanctuary in comparison to your own home that you share with your him/her.

You don’t have sex anymore. Remember when you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? One block seemed like an eternity, and you’d usually end up half naked in the back of your car in an alley. Now, they disgust you so much you can’t even kiss them nicely. And it’s not that they’ve gotten fat or less attractive physically. Every other wo/man seems to want them still. Yet, you look at them differently now. Either you see them as too much of a friend, or the fights have gotten so extreme that angry sex is out of the question.

You don’t respect them anymore. This was definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back in my last relationship. I started to treat my boyfriend horribly, because I was turning into a horrible person. The relationship took such a toll on me emotionally, that I let out all my anger on him. Even if he was the reason I was always angry, I shouldn’t have used him as a punching bag. I should’ve just broke up with him. I could remember talking down to him during fights, throwing shit at him and wishing he’d just STFU when he’d start crying. People seem to think that all you need is love in a relationship. Agree to disagree, but I can tell you this: If you don’t have respect, you don’t have much.

You do not like the person you are when you are with them. I don’t believe that your partner should necessarily complete you. YOU should complete you. However, I do think they should make you feel like the best YOU that you can be. Relationships should be uplifting – they shouldn’t drag you down. They should make you feel like the motherfucking cats pajamas – not insecure or constantly questioning yourself. If you are not a better version of yourself when you are with your boo, then WTF is the point? Yes honey, you can do bad all by yourself. And often times, even better.

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