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Mr. Wrong

It’s the year 2011, and people are still under the impression that good girls want bad guys. Looking around, I can’t blame them. Some women are admittingly attracted to jerks. Some think they can change them. Others don’t see the bad boy behind the good guy facade until it’s too late. Whatever the reason, it happens. As unfair or deserving as it might be, it happens.

When I was younger I used to want a lot of petty, unnecessary things from a man. Now I believe that what I want are the same things I need. Yet, the universe still seems to misinterpret things, and often times give me the exact opposite. Oh yeah? Well two can play that game.

I want a womanizer. I want a man that just can’t be faithful. He needs to love women too, too much. If he fucks anything with a hole in it, even better. I want him to make me feel special … just like he makes every other girl feel. Spend the day with me, and hold me at night. Then do the same thing with the girl he’s been denying the very next day. Which reminds me, they should probably already have a girlfriend. A married man would be asking for too much. OK I’m getting in way over my head now, I’d even settle for someone in a “situation.” How could I forget? It’s imperative that he’s greedy and selfish. Damn, that’s hot. He needs to be scared of commitment. Plus five points if he’s a serial monogamist. They’re special. If he doesn’t know what the fuck he wants, or if he does know what he wants and then doesn’t know what to do with it once he gets it, I may have to marry him. Furthermore, this man needs to lead me on and manipulate me into thinking that he actually cares about me. That he wants to be exclusive. I want a man that makes me feel as if I am not good enough for him, and not worthy of being loved. He needs to say things he has no intentions of following through with. I love when a man flakes on me with a horrible excuse. 

Most importantly, he needs to be a liar. He needs to look me dead in the eyes as tears are streaming down my face and tell me the things I want to hear that he doesn’t mean. Honesty is a major deal breaker.

There. *Gathers above thoughts, crumples them into a ball, and launches into the atmosphere* You hear that universe? Awesome. Now do whatever it is you do to misconstrue my intentions and send me Mr. Wrong.

Damn baby, I can’t wait to meet you.

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