I used to think that when it came to relationships, it was now or never. You meet someone, then determine right then and there whether you’re in it to hit it, or in it to win it. Therefore, choose wisely, because there’s no turning back. Now I know to “never say never,” and proceed with caution. Because people can fall in love just as quickly as they can fall out of love. And on a smaller scale, it’s only normal (and sometimes inevitable) to eventually gain feelings for someone you swore would only be a booty-call.
You go from leaving in the middle of the night, to sleeping over. Then from sleeping over, to eating breakfast in the morning. You go from only texting after 12:30 am, to texting small talk. Then, from texting small talk to *gasp* picking up the phone to have an actual conversation. After the club escapades turn into lunches, and then you find yourself inviting them to dinner parties and buying them souvenirs while you’re on vacation. FUCK, WHEN DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN?
Whether it’s ordering lunch, or buying a pair of shoes – people change their minds all the time. But only when it involves matters of the heart does it start to get complicated. Especially when you tell yourself (and him) that you’re fine with things being “casual,” then find yourself wanting to be a little more … “formal.”
So you beat yourself up about it. And think the world is over. But it’s OK. It happens, and we have no control over our feelings once it’s there. But once it’s there, we do have control over what happens next. So here:
We’re friends. And that’s all I want right now. I never went into it for anything else. I’m actually not even physically attracted to you, although you’re definitely attractive. And. Actually, you’re kind of boring – definitely not funny. But in the event I change my mind in a month or so. I’m sorry. Just letting you know.