RoseElephant copy.jpg
  • dearabi

Decorate – TBT 08.31.12

Inspired by Yuna.

I hung up a picture of you on this wall called my heart. It fell down five times since, but I refuse to give up. It hurts too much to look at you, and even more to take it down. Sometimes I sit there and stare. Pretend I can feel your hair in my hands, and taste you on my lips. Wonder how you’ve been, and what you’ve been up to. But most of all, if there’s any remnants of me in your house. In your head. In your heart. I miss you.

I keep your memories on a shelf in my mind. So cluttered, and messy – yet I know where each and everything lies. Cab rides at dawn, and balcony kisses at night. I hoard feelings until there’s no room left, and collect unnecessary burdens because I just can’t seem to sweep them under a rug, or better yet out the door. It’s my fault, I put you on a pedestal. I shouldn’t feel this way.

I try and try to make things pretty, but still feel ugly inside. I buy flowers, and tell me I love me. I frame a smile, but the bigger picture always makes me feel so small. So I use a step ladder and get my hopes up. I do this all the time. I just can’t do it right. I get excited. I even let myself enjoy it for a little bit. Just a little bit. Until I take a step back, and realize I did it all wrong.

I guess that’s what happens when you decorate your house before it’s finished being built.

#decorate #tbt #throwbackthursday #yuna

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

How to Grow A Plant and Kill A Relationship.

I bought my first plant a little over two years ago when I moved into what I liked to call my first "adult" apartment. I went to Roots on Van Ness during my lunch break and bought a jade pothos (Blake

"For what is grief, but love persevering"

I'd never been good with buying birthday cards, that was always his expertise. I could't find a sushi related card, so I settled with a duck and dad joke on it. He always liked corny jokes. I would sa

Break Up With Me.

Please, break up with me. Don't take walks with me knowing you'll be walking away soon. Don't hold me in your arms knowing you'll be letting go. Don't take photos you never plan to post. Instead, just

  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Twitter Icon
  • White Instagram Icon

© 2020 I'll make you feel things.