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  • dearabi

You Never Know – TBT 02.07.11

So I know a girl who’s kinda, sorta, sometimes, not really, every 2 weeks only, non-boyfriend that she was exclusively dating but not a couple with, left his toothbrush at her house the FIRST night he ever slept over. At first she thought he just forgot about it, but when she tried to give it back to him he let out the most butt hurt sounding, “OK really?” So she turned around so that he couldn’t see her, “Are you serious?” face and grudgingly put the toothbrush back in her toothbrush holder.

Later that night she brushed her teeth before she went to bed and mid molar cleaning she noticed his toothbrush again. She wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about it or him, but to her that toothbrush said, “I plan on staying for a while,” and she didn’t mind that.

About a month later, he thought they were moving too fast. There was a slight bump in the road, and she threw away his toothbrush. Then he got mad that she threw away the toothbrush. Then she got mad that he got mad that she threw away the toothbrush. So then he bought another toothbrush for her house, and this time she didn’t fight the notion of him leaving it there ‘cuz once again she thought he planned on staying for a while.

The next day he said that they didn’t have a good foundation and just weren’t meant to be and left her.

“What was your foundation missing?” I asked. She didn’t know, there was communication, honesty, respect, and from what everyone could tell – they were crazy about each other. “What happened?” I said. Again, she didn’t know. They had just spent the entire weekend together, an amazing one at that. “Are you going to throw away his toothbrush again?” I asked attempting to make her smile (it didn’t work btw). “I don’t know,” she replied.

And that’s the thing. WE DON’T KNOW. WE NEVER KNOW.

We spend all our lives looking for signs and signals from the universe. Adhering to the “rules” of relationships. Telling ourselves that if someone leaves a toothbrush at our house, can see us in their future, and feels as if we’re everything they’ve been looking for, that ultimately – it’s a wrap. Until their bi-polar ass tells themselves amidst the smiles and laughter and genuine feelings for the other person, that it’s just not “meant to be”. Based on nothing except for the fact that they keep telling themselves they’re just not “meant to be.”

So now they’ll never know what would’ve happened if he just put his ego and insecurities aside. Maybe they would’ve fought their way back and he would’ve hurt her later down the line. Maybe she would’ve got sick of him acting like a 13 year old girl in a 28 year old mans body and bounced on her own. Or maybe? They would’ve spent every day the way they spent their last one; laughing, happy, full, and orgasmic.

So I won’t tell you to build a wall, ‘cuz that’s stupid. But I won’t tell you to tear it down either, ‘cuz that’s just careless. Nothing is guaranteed. Just know, that you’ll never know until it happens.

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