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Write or Die.

While shopping in SoHo with my buddy JR from LA last week, I came across the perfect winter coat at Brooklyn Industries. Not only that, but we met a really nice employee by the name of Tiffany. JR informed her that I recently moved to New York, and she asked what it was that I did to which I replied, “I write, but I used to be an office manager at my previous job”. JR quickly interrupted me before I could elaborate on the rest of my fun-filled tryst as an administrative expert and said, “She’s a writer. An amazing one too. She has this blog that’s awesome, you’ll love it. You should check it out!” YOU’RE HIRED.

Surprisingly, Tiffany was all about it and jotted down my url on a receipt. The moment was bittersweet. How was it that a complete stranger and a college friend who I hadn’t seen in years were more excited over my writing than I was? I left Brooklyn Industries that day with a new jacket, and a cloud of doubt over my head. As soon as we stepped outside JR quickly reprimanded me. “Girl. YOU ARE A WRITER. From now on you say that.”

I DUN GOT CHECKED. I thought about it for a moment. I remembered my Linkedin profile where I foolishly put “Writer” as my occupation. I hesitated before pressing enter. Yet, I didn’t have the heart to take it off. I know I can write. But if I say it enough times I can sense my confidence start to waver.

I AM A WRITER. But I don’t even get paid to write, how can I call myself a writer? I AM A WRITER. No one wants to hire you. I AM A WRITER. I sound like one of those girls that consider themselves a model just because a guy with an expensive camera took a picture of them half naked in a hotel room. I AM A WRITER. You don’t need to be a writer. Look at all these people with books and no writing talent. I AM A WRITER. People will think you’re crazy. They won’t believe you until you have a book or get a paycheck. I AM A WRITER. All you have is a fucking blog, and not that many people read it anyway. BUT I AM A WRITER.

Am I? Only if I say I am. And believe it.

p.s. JR if you’re reading this. Thank-you for believing in me. I’m so glad we got to connect while you were here (if you call getting wasted by 9pm “connecting” lol). Can’t wait for you to be done with that project!

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