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Why I’m Marrying Jozen

dearabi

“That was last year, and I have missed you ever since.

The more I search for a reason not to think about you, the more I find a reason to think about you. Do you know what that’s like? To think about not thinking about someone? It’s like a dog chasing their own tail.

Do me a favor and get the hell out of my head and heart. Go somewhere else. Be someone elses albatross, please. It’s been a long time, and you’re still here. I still miss you, and frankly, it’s getting in the way of some rather important things like other women who are good to me but I can never manage to keep.

I don’t compare them to you, but I compare myself with them to myself with you, and it never quite matches up, so I have to move on. Because when I was with you, I was the man I wanted to be, and with these other women, I’m the man I feel like I was forced to be largely because you left me. Damn it, if you’re going to be here, then really, really be here. Quit being a figment of my imagination. I know you’re real. Just show up and say something like you heard a rumor that I missed you so I can tell you that it wasn’t a rumor, what you heard. That it was true.”

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