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What’s Inside My Whore Kit?


A while ago I wrote this post about the infamous “Whore Kit,” which I’ve recently learned can also aptly be called a “Shag Bag” (thanks mom *smh*). Soon after, it became an inside joke amongst me and my girlfriends and Ren ended up buying all of us one, God bless her. Most of the stuff ran out, but I kept the concept alive. While cleaning my room, I came across it and decided to share it with you ala “What’s In Your Bag?” but on ecstasy. Happy to say I got a lot of mileage on this baby (all with the SAME guy mind you). Sad to say, all I use it for now are those unexpected sleepovers at my girls house.

1) Lancome makeup bag: I only buy two things from Lancome: mascara, and makeup remover. The last time I bought some they had a special that included a bunch of free shit that included this (now that I look at it, ugly) thing. However, this is where the magic happens.

2) Lancome Renergie: One of the free samples that came with the bag, I use this as moisturizer, because the size makes it convenient to carry around. Just because I’m dehydrating my skin with massive amounts of alcohol, doesn’t mean I can’t take care of it afterwards.

3) AcneFree On The Spot Treatment: Not necessary, but I added this because there’s been a few times where a huge zit was on the verge of forming and I needed something to calm it the fuck down. A pimple with its own pulse is the last thing I want the man I’m sleeping with to see the morning after.

4) An assortment of sanitary items: Because you just never fucking know, and better to be safe than leaking on someone’s sheets *shudders at the thought*.

5) Hair-tie and bobby-pins: So that I can make an attempt to tame my sex hair and look like I didn’t just get fucked into New Hampshire as I leave the premises.

6) A comb: See above. Although my friends know I rarely brush my hair. I know, I know, such the lady.

7) Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer: I bought some Tarte tinted moisturizer at Sephora, and they gave me this sample from Laura Mercier. It’s perfect to carry with me and dabble on so the guy I’m seeing doesn’t kiss a corpse good-bye, without me looking like I’m headed back to the club we came from.

8) Toothpaste & toothbrush: No explanation necessary. All I gotta say is I love the toiletry section at Target.

9) A condom: I know this makes me look like a whore, I mean hello! This post is about my “Whore” Kit. But at least I’m a responsible one. I’ve actually had the same pack of condoms unused since I bought them last year around my birthday. I never had to use them because the men I saw were always packin (thank-you guys by the way), but I figured they can never NOT come in handy.

And there you have it. With the exception of face/body wipes, these are the items I always have in my kit. Feel free to share yours if you dare!

P.S. A while ago a friend tweeted what a “whorekit” would consist of for men to which I replied …


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