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  • dearabi

The Problem

Listen. I know that men aren’t the only people who cheat, and females can be assholes too. Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t. Well currently statistics show that more women are getting fucked over. And when I say statistics, I mean hearing stories from those around me whether they’re friends, co-workers, or family.

Perhaps this is due to there being more women in the world to begin with. After all, a man is only as faithful as his options. Walk into any club – hell, even grocery store, library, or parking lot, and you will see men outnumbered. Cut that down to “good” men, and it’s almost a lost cause.

I once heard a man say, “I got issues. I’m probably gonna grow old and alone.” He had said this to a beautiful, smart, and funny woman who was sitting directly in front of him. He said this to her at brunch on a beautiful 72º Saturday morning. This was right after they were laughing over something stupid that only they would find funny, and right before they took a walk along the beach. The two obviously had a connection. He obviously liked her, and even though she tried to hide it behind her sunglasses, it was obvious she liked him too. If he knew the inevitable, I wondered why they just couldn’t be together.

Obviously it was because he didn’t want to be with her. Maybe not any other girl for that matter. He just couldn’t commit. And he didn’t need to. Matter fact, he would be stupid to. She was also stupid to stay.

I know this because I was that girl.

I often wonder what gives men the fucking nerve to hurt women the way they do. How they can stand to look at themselves in the mirror knowing they blatantly took advantage of someone’s love for them? What makes them think they can just treat us this way? So many questions, but only one answer: We do.We allow people to treat us a certain way. We show our worth by what we accept. As long as there are quality women out there giving these guys second, third, and ninth chances, men will continue to act this way. Why would they change when they have it made? Yet, another question.

They say that if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. Sometimes we get so caught up in the chaos we don’t even know what’s what anymore. We lose ourselves and forget what we’re even fighting for. We look at this person and wonder why we just. can’t. leave. We forget what problems actually matter, and don’t notice the solution right in front of us. Most of the time we don’t even have the answer. But here’s a good question: “Do you like who you are when you are with this person?”

Answer that.

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