The Boy is Mine.
A few years ago my best friend Darrell had a girlfriend who SWORE she hated me. We had never met, yet she refused to believe that I was nothing more than “D’s” little brother. I mean hellooo he calls me his little brother for crying out loud!
Anyway, to make a long story short, she finally got over herself and we ended up becoming really good friends and remained in contact even after they broke up. One night and 4 Patron shots later, I remember her explanation for the previous bitchassness:
“Darrell said u were one of the boys. U talked like a boy. Ate like a boy. Drank like a boy. Acted like a boy. But u didn’t look like a boy.”
I assumed it was a compliment and sympathized with her. However, it still left me feeling discouraged knowing that the only way a girlfriend would ever fully accept and embrace my platonic relationship with their man, was if I was a raging lesbian or took hormones to grow out a beard.
It was not the first time I got hated for being “one of the boys.”
Growing up an only child with my immediate family in the Philippines, my closest relatives were all guy cousins. My 3 older cousins were protective over me and showed me tough love. They taught me how to climb trees, shoot guns, and to never be a prissy little damsel in distress. My 2 younger cousins acted as little brothers. I played G.I. Joe and wrestled with them. Built fortresses made out of couch cushions and crashed our Lego cars into each other to see whose was stronger. So it came no surprise to me in high school that most of my good friends were dudes. What did surprise me however, was how often me getting along better with guys translated to other girls as “Oh, she’s a ho.”
This is precisely why I don’t run with too many females to begin with – ‘cuz they run they mouth too much!
No u silly trick, the real hoez are out trying to fuck ur man while I’m acting as an ambassador for ur insecure ass. When he thinks ur acting “bitchy,” I’m the one explaining just how much “that time of the month,” can really take a toll on ur emotions. When he’s about to lie to u about his whereabouts, it’s me telling him to keep it real ‘cuz u’ll probably find out the truth anyway and get twice as mad. When he’s THIS close to cheating on u, it’s my female voice of reason screaming in his ear that it’s not worth it because he’s got a good woman at home. And when yall are arguing and on the verge of breaking up, I’m consoling him over beer and wings and giving him a shoulder to cry on because his boys will call him a fag if he shows any weakness.
I’m not saying that the possibility of good friends gaining feelings for each other is impossible, because it’s happened way more than once. But in most cases the feelings are only one-sided, otherwise they’d be dating each other instead of u. Remember, he’s with YOU not me. I’m well aware that there are triflin ass bitches out there with alterior motives so I understand the hesitation. There’s a big difference between the chick who hangs out with dicks ‘cuz she rather watch the game in sweats and a beater than get dressed up and go to the club, and the chick who hangs out with dicks ‘cuz she needs the attention and wants to get dicked down. Act like u know. But forbidding ur man to have an attractive best friend with a personality because ur insecure is a direct reflection of how unreasonable and selfish u are. So puh-leave believe me when I say …
Ladies, I don’t want ur men – They’are already my BOYS.
Besides, if I really wanted ur man he woulda been my man.