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>Textually Active

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For some reason, I still seem to think I’m coordinated enough to text and walk at the same time.

The other day at Target, I was texting while making my way towards the registers. I was using both hands, and had my purse over my left shoulder and 3 dvd’s under my right arm. Just as I was about to hit “send,” I nearly died not realizing I had reached the top of the escalator and almost rolled my ass down to the first floor. Luckily, I caught my footing and only dropped one of the dvd’s, which was embarrassing enough ‘cuz that shit was hella loud and landed 5-6 steps in front of me. But you know that “HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT JUST HAPPEN RIGHT NOW?!” feeling you get when a car almost hits you while driving ‘cuz it was such a close call? That’s what I felt.

And wtf was just sooo important that I had to text it and nearly lost all my teeth while doing so?

This: “It’s fucking armageddon outside.”

I mean seriously? As if whoever I was texting couldn’t look outside the window and see for himself? As if I’m Evelyn fucking Taft and I get paid to tell people when it’s raining. I could’ve broken my face and those would’ve been my last words ever. But it gets WORSE! I don’t know how many times I’ve drifted into the next lane trying to double click the “alt” button while texting on the freeway, FOR SHAME! I act like whatever I got to say is so important that I can’t wait another 11 minutes before I get to where I’m at to say it. And most likely, the person I’m texting is the person I’m about to see. I’m very aware I have a little problem, as I’m sure most people with a qwerty or touch screen phone do.

It just reminds me of how out of touch some of us are. Some of my most beloved friends are just instant messenger boxes on my computer screen. And although I’m a big advocate of telling people you love them on the regular as long as you mean it – I think my mom is the only person I say it to in person. While reading an “I love you,” is better than nothing at all, it’s so different when you say it or hear it in person, or even on the phone. OMG you mean a real life phone call? YES. The kinds we used to make with phones that were still attached to a cord that ran into the wall, before Crackberrys and Skype existed.

So I think the next time I want to tell someone “Thank you for blah blah blah,” “I love you,” or even something as simple as, “What you ’bout to get into today?” I’ll just pick up the phone. I mean, I have unlimited minutes, I might as well take advantage of it. I can’t promise I’ll cease on the texting though. Old habits die hard … or if you’re me, on the escalator at Target.

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