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  • dearabi

Speak No Evil

The night of my high school Senior Boat Dance, my mom and her live-in boyfriend got into a fight. I remember him throwing all her shit out of the closet, and even accidentally hitting her with a hanger. I had been trying to mind my own business while getting ready in my room, but when I heard him call her a “Two-cent whore,” it was curtains. I opened the door and went ballistic. My mom responded by telling me to go back inside … and nothing more. She just took the verbal abuse and didn’t even flinch. I was absolutely disgusted, and had never felt more ashamed of my own flesh and blood.

Whether or not the harsh words of my mom’s ex-boyfriend were warranted or not is still a mystery to me. But since then, I vowed to never, EVER let anyone especially a man talk down to me. And definitely not in front of my children.

There are unfortunately one too many things I tolerate when I’m in like, what more in love. One might even say that I can be a relationship pushover. I’ve given men third and fourth chances when they didn’t even deserve the first one. But PLEASE BELIEVE that the first time you talk to me in a blatantly disrespectful manner will be also be the last time.

While the effects of physical abuse seem to be more prevalent in society, I’m beginning to hear more and more stories of verbal abuse from females I know. I could never understand how or why someone could ever accept such behavior. Then one day it happened to me. I can’t quite express how I felt when it happened either. I think it was a mixture of hurt, shock, sadness, and rage, which all translated to tears. If sticks and stones break bones, words break spirits and hearts.

While I hear more stories about men verbally abusing woman, I know that the abomination isn’t sexist. I know this, because I was once on the giving end of it. No one deserves to be talked to like they are less than human. I was just so fed up in the relationship that I belittled my boyfriend, called him names, and talked to him condescendingly any chance I got. It might sound cool like I had the upper hand, but I felt just as shitty if not more. I had turned into a MONSTER. I know that if I ever talk to someone like that again I am just as good as the men who talk shit to my girls.

Like the PSA says below says, “Words have power. Use them wisely.” Physical abuse leaves bruises that although painful, usually go away. But the impact hurtful words have on someone can leave cuts deeper than knives, and scars that take years to fade away.

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