Originally written 11/11/10.
As women, some of us feel all sorts of emotions at any given moment regardless of what time of the month it is. One minute we’re on top of the world and the next, we’re crying into a tub of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice-cream. I am no exception. I’ve spent many days feeling bi-polar like this. And honestly, you don’t even need to have estrogen to experience frustration, pain, anger, and euphoria at the same time. All you need to be is a Giants fan!
But right now? I’m feeling SELFISH. Like, Scrooge selfish. No, Slum Village selfish.
Maybe it’s cuz I’m sick and tired of caring for people who don’t care about me. Maybe, I never cared enough about myself to begin with. Or “Maybe I’m feelin myself too much I guess,” *shrugs shoulders*. Whatever the reason, and despite the fact I’ll probably feel different tomorrow, or shit within the next hour, right this very minute? I’m feeling selfish.
I want more purses than I need, more shoes than I can afford, a puppy, a polar bear, a baked potato with sour cream AND bacon AND green onions AND cheese AND butter AND chives. I want an IPhone and a Blackberry, a Mac Book and an IPad. I want Lance Moore fri-mon and Jonathan Sanchez tues-thurs, and a fucking goose that lays motherfucking golden eggs.
I. WANT. IT. ALL.
I wanna make money. Drink with my boys. Talk shit with my girls. Handle business. Party, and bullshit. And not feel guilty ‘cuz he’s dropping me off five minutes before he’s picking me up. But most of all, (as cliche as it sounds) I just wanna “do me.” I haven’t done that in a while. And when I really think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever done it 100% before. 50% maybe. 60% would be kinda pushing it. At any rate, I’m long overdue.