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  • dearabi

Say What?! – I Need to Get Laid Edition

A few weeks ago me and Jey were having a conversation regarding the infamous “Top 5” list. The five people who if you were in a relationship you would get a pass for sleeping with. Sadly, I couldn’t think of five but this interesting (and worrisome) conversation ensued.

[16:00] me: OMG so last night im on youjizz [16:01] me: and i actually became concerned about myself [16:01] him: already like this story [16:01] me: lmao [16:01] me: one of the storylines was this chick rubbing one out to porn twin [16:01] him: ok [16:01] me: so shes at her laptop masturbating and shit [16:01] me: and im laughing [16:01] me: cuz well [16:01] me: DUH [16:01] me: and she’s like in love with him [16:01] me: and fantasizes about fucking him [16:02] me: so already im like “damn im not the only one?” [16:02] me: she goes to his house to stalk him, gets in his bed and is just masturbating and shit and OF COURSE he comes home [16:02] me: and is like WTF ARE U DOING HERE? [16:02] me: and she’s naked and shit, he’s about to call the cops [16:02] me: but she’s like i just want an autograph [16:03] me: he goes “that doesnt mean u can go breaking into peoples houses” so he signs a piece of paper “go get help” [16:03] me: still there? [16:03] him: unfortunately [16:03] me: so she’s like lemme just see ur cock please! [16:03] me: he’s like NO i gotta rest up got a big shoot tomorrow [16:03] me: (of course im wishing i was the chick the entire time) [16:04] me: and so finally he’s like ohhhhkay gotta give back to the fans, they get at it, and at the end he says she should be a porn star [16:04] me: but the part that makes me concerned is that i got mad that this groupie (that’s really a porn star) was getting it in with him [16:04] me: THE END. [16:05] him: there were several things wrong with your story [16:05] him: but most of all i cant believe you watched the whole thing [16:05] him: like man i just skip all that story bs [16:05] me: i didn’t i fast forward parts the only part i watched through was right when he caught her [16:05] me: cuz i wanted to see what he’d say [16:05] him: thats my point [16:05] me: and he was in a suit driving a white rover [16:05] me: i love him [16:05] me: OMG DUH [16:05] him: like .. where is his character right now? [16:06] him: like what is his motivation? [16:06] him: who cares [16:06] me: JEYEL [16:06] me: how can i forget to PUT HIM ON THE LIST [16:06] me: he IS the list [16:06] him: ABIGAIL YOU NEED TO GET LAID

#humpday #humpwednesday

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