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  • dearabi


“They say the coolest playas and foulest heartbreakers in the world, God gets us back, he makes us have precious little girls.”-Nas

I was once told to date a man that has a good relationship with his mother, because the way he treats her is the way he’ll treat you. Bullshit. While it’s always good for a man to have a healthy relationship with his parents, I know many that treat their mothers like Queens but the women they date like peasants. So I looked elsewhere for consolation, thinking surely that once a man has a daughter, his relationships with women as well as his life in general will change forever. Negative. Again, I know plenty of great fathers that treat their little girls like princesses, yet treat the women they date like rag dolls to be played with and tossed away at their own expense. 

Just when I was about to give up, I hit the jackpot when I read the quote, “The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother”. Yes. Game over, I thought to myself. I figured a man’s first example of a relationship is the most impressionable, so if he grows up in a household where the husband treats his wife with compassion and respect, he will do the same. Valid, but not guaranteed. Things have changed immensely since our parents have gotten together, so obviously our relationship beliefs may differ from those of our grandparents. But what I’ve found is even more influential than society, is the influence of FRIENDS.

If you meet an athlete whose friends are all two-timing jocks that like to run around with ho’s in different area codes, don’t be surprised if one day your 415 self catches his 510 ass on WSHH slippin with some 404 chick. Similarly, girls night out’s are only fun when there are girls to go out with. And usually the GNO’s lessen once more and more of the girls get boo’d up. Alas, there are always exceptions to the rule.

So then what correlation is reliable? What relationship is a direct reflection of how a person will be? The relationship you have with YOURSELF. Duh. Tell me you didn’t see that one coming though? Corny, but true. After all, it’s the only relationship you can control despite outside variables. That way it won’t matter if your girlfriend tries to gold-dig you like how her ho-ass friends do to their boyfriends, or if you wind up meeting men that verbally abuse you the way your father did your mother. Because you love and respect yourself enough to not take that shit anyway.

I am now going to contradict everything I just said up there, and show you the exception to the rule below. A man that treats his wife like a Queen, and his daughters like Princesses. It’s even better than a fairytale. Let’s make the exception the rule now shall we?

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