Pussy Power
They say life is a constant learning proccess. LMAO. No, I’m serious. I really laughed out loud just now. Meh. If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few weeks, it’s that:
My walls are a lot thinner than I thought (I can hear people breathe upstairs).
Facebook is boring and Twitter is the anti-christ which is why I’m not on it*
I can have fun in Vegas while being completely sober – but really, what’s the point?
If u wake up one morning not knowing wtf went on the night before, check ur camera phone. You’ll be surprised at what u took that u don’t remember.
I am in the best shape of my life next to high school.
And most of all:
I am a pussy.
And no, not the kind of pussy that is too scared to jump outta a plane thousands of feet in the air, or the kind that is nowhere to be found when one of their homies is about to get into a fight. I’m talkin about the kind of pussy that sees a cute guy staring at her and runs in the opposite direction or looks for the nearest table to hide under.
It’s official: when it comes to the opposite sex, I AM SHY.
Get the fuck outta here right? I know it may seem hard to believe considering some of the topics I write about and how open I am when talking about it, but believe it. See the difference is, once u know me it’s a no holds barred of f-bombs, and blow-job talk but I am not the one to get up and introduce myself in a crowded room full of people. Matter fact, I’ll probably be the one sitting in the corner looking like a loner. And not ‘cuz I think I’m too good to mingle, but ‘cuz I’m absolutely mortified. Of what though? I have no idea.
Rach once told me “women don’t need game.” Alas, I am a waste of woman lol. But just because I am a waste of woman, it doesn’t mean u have to be too! So in an attempt to not fail the human race entirely, I’m passing along these tips to the rest of u so that they don’t go to a complete waste (‘cuz Lord knows I won’t use ’em):
If you see a dude and think he’s cute – TELL HIM! It’s harmless. It’s like saying “nice shoes,” or, “good morning.” How many dudes have told u that u were beautiful? This one time ain’t gonna hurt the equillibrium of the world.
Be accessible – That doesn’t mean wear a mini dress with a plunging neckline and no panties while dancing on the bar top. It just means nagivate outside of that corner u’ve been associating with, be seen, and have fun. If u look like ur having fun, dudes will think ur fun. And what dude doesn’t want a fun girl?
Don’t be scurred of rejection – Ur not asking the dude to marry u. The worst that can happen is they’ll make up an excuse to not dance or talk to u. Again, think about how many times one of ur guy friends has hollared at some female and got rejected. It’s not that serious. On to the next one …
Which reminds me to remind u – it’s not that serious.
And the best tip ever? LIQUID COURAGE. Duhhh.
*I recently signed in to FB after not having done so since last year and just as quickly had a friend change my pw on me again lol. As for Twitter, I still have a Twitter assistant tweeting for me lol so sorry if I don’t respond to ur DM’s!