I have this obsession with stalking pretty girls on Facebook, which by itself is harmless. Just one woman admiring the beauty of another. But then I’ll come across the one or two girls who upon first glance I immediately think, “Oh, that’s totally [fill in the blank with ex-boyfriend/ex-non-boyfriend’s name here] type.”
It’s a horrible habit that unfortunately comes natural to me.
I don’t do it often, and once it happens I steer clear from any further emotional cutting and avoid that person or their page if I can help it. But for those first 5 – 8 minutes, I am completely obsessed.
There’s this woman I occasionally see at work, I want to say early to mid thirties and some sort of Asian. Indonesian is my guess. Taller than me but still very petite, and slim. Pretty face, but more than being pretty she’s extremely sexy. I can’t help but think of the last guy I dated and how much of a douchebag he was everytime I see her. Then, not only do I not so secretly resent him but I secretly resent her for no fucking reason! CAN I NOT THOUGH? But of course I still do.
It starts off with an, “Aw she’s really pretty,” and then snowballs into me imagining the two of them getting married and having four beautiful children while I live in a studio with three dogs and a dying houseplant. Yes, all of this when they don’t even know each other. At least not yet.
This is right about the time where I hear an imaginary *ding* and my eight minutes of being completely insane run out. I “x” out whoever’s Facebook page I’m on, or mentally shake myself and immediately stop thinking about their type because it obviously wasn’t me.