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Pride is the New Ego – TBT 03.09.11

My pride once fought a mans ego in front of his house one misty midnight. The neighbors began turning on their lights and peeking through living room windows. Minutes later, we woke them up again with sounds of makeup sex.

But even more ridiculous than two grown ass people arguing like 22 year olds, or even the reason why we were arguing to begin with, was the fact that we were arguing at all. Because booty-calls shouldn’t have anything to argue about.

You know what else booty-calls shouldn’t be doing? Asking each other how work is, going out on dates, snuggling after sex, sleeping over, and having breakfast in the morning. But what are two people to do when they genuinely enjoy each other’s company – yet don’t want to be in a relationship? “Absolutely nothing,” is what I told myself. Because he didn’t want a girlfriend, and I wouldn’t have said yes even if he asked. One would think we had a pretty sweet deal going on, but my pride didn’t seem to agree.

Because any self-respecting woman has pride. And it’s this relentless pride that doesn’t allow us to enjoy being in a casual relationship for long – if not at all. Because even though we are using each other for the same thing (and at times we will use men for even more), our pride will always feel like we deserve better. Because we will always feel like we are too smart, funny, and beautiful to JUST be someone’s fuck buddy. Because we will always feel like we have so much more to offer than JUST sex. Unfortunately, sex is usually all the men who partake in these types of relationships care about. Women care too. We care if you’re fucking someone else.

My ego may put up a front like I’m fine with everything, but my pride would never let me get away with it. And even though I’d never let you know how I truly feel, I WOULD KNOW. This is why I can’t have booty-calls, and why I think most men care about their egos while most women care about their pride. Yet, the two are almost one in the same. Perhaps another explanation best left to Mars and Venus. I took to Facebook to ask the difference between the two and the homie Rob said it best below:

“To me… pride is a self-standard that you hold yourself to; a level or standard you try to maintain and not sink below. Ego is a self-created images of ones self; how you imagine yourself and try to project towards others. Pride is what you want to maintain within; ego is what you want to push out for others to see.”

Which makes perfect sense as to why that misty midnight in front of his house, his ego was so bruised by what he thought I said, and why I had too much pride to tell him what I really meant.

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