>Podophobia

>If you know me, then you’ll know there is one thing that grosses me out more than anything in the world, and that’s FEET.

Yeah I get it, everyone has them and we need feet to walk and shit. And while I’ll admit that a clean pair of Js always looks better on some small, girl feet – that is just about the extent of my “foot fetish”. But just plain, old out in the open bare feet? I CANNOT. I said it before and I’ll say it again: the only cute feet to me are baby feet. I give a fuck if you have no corns, no bunions, or if your feet smell like potpourri. Even if you’re a foot model, your feet are ugly.

Now, I get the dudes who simply wanna make sure a chicks feet aren’t busted. Don’t trip, I seen Boomerang. But thennn. Thennn, you get the weirdos that wanna suck on your toes. The ones that would rather see your feet than a titty. I’ve had the occasional dudes who would purposely stare at my toes when I wore sandals just to get a kick outta making me squirm. But it wasn’t until the last guy I dated that I met someone with a full on foot fetish.

Apparently, when he was little his mom put him in the center of the room filled with his aunties and made him give all of them a foot massage. 25 or so years later, it then evolved into him wanting to kiss my feet when my legs were on his shoulders during sex. And I kid you not no matter how epic the sex was, I would push his face away. I ain’t knockin it. To each their own. I’m sure there’s some shit I’m into that other people aren’t. It’s just that …

I. DON’T. GET. IT.

The following are a few other things I don’t get, that should’ve never been invented, and give me the heebie jeebies:

The toe ring: The least of my nightmares but still on the list. Because, ok REALLY? WHY? That’s all I’m asking, WHY?

If there’s anything you feel “weird” about or anything you’d like to add onto this list feel free to! RANT OVER lol.