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  • dearabi

>My BIGGEST Regret

>This hands down is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever divulged to you readers. Far worse than any heartbreak, tinge of insecurity, or moment of promiscuity.

Of all the things I regret in my life it’s this: not handling my money wiser.

It’s not breaking up with him, giving him a second chance, or having sex with him. I ain’t even mad I turned down a once in a lifetime chance to go to Italy for FREE, just to go to New York (WTF?!). And while I wish I had gone to college outside of the Bay Area … well, I didn’t. I’m talking about credit card debt, and financial responsibility.

Because whoever said money can’t make you happy, LIED.

Let’s be 100 here: I’M PRETTY FUCKING BROKE. And that’s probably due to me going on vacations I swear I can afford, but memories are priceless right? At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m living off of Top Ramen for weeks at a time. I make shit, therefore I can’t do shit. And of course I’m still grateful for everything I do have because I understand I still have so much more than others. But don’t get it twisted, I’m not complaining that I don’t have more. I’m merely taking responsibility and wishing I had DONE more. I have (barely) enough to pay my bills, keep a roof over my head, and have the occasional GNO here and there. But as much as I hate to and probably shouldn’t admit this, I am nowhere near financially stable.

‘Cuz when I say broke, I don’t mean “Lemme just transfer some money from my savings to my checking and make it all better.” I mean, I have $34.37, a pair of $1,200 diamond studs, and a ’95 Honda in my name. UGH. FOR SHAME. I can sit here and say that money ain’t everything, and what I lack financially I make up in other areas but it still puts a damper on ones morale. Especially, if they’re involved with someone who is financially comfortable because it seems like you have nothing to bring to the table. This may be ok to damsels in distress, but not to stubborn bitches that wanna rescue themselves outta the clock tower from time to time.

So ladies, I know you fly and shit and there’s probably a dozen dudes just hurtin to buy you something but STACK THAT MONEY HONEY. Not to brag, not to boast, and even if you never spend it, it just feels good to know it’s there and that you made it all on your own. ‘Cuz asides from being able to buy some red bottom shoes or a shiny new toy, or even put a down payment on a mortgage, money buys you security and most of all piece of mind knowing that you have at least the ability to take care of yourself or a loved one if you needed to. And that is a reason to feel rich in itself.

“Some bitches always holla How they don’t spend a dolla But that’s because they ain’t got it Now tell me where’s the logic?” ~Fox Boogie Brown

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