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Love in the Club – Throwback Thursdays

Originally written 7/30/09

I will never forget the night I went to Storyville with my folks, and realized just how mean some of us bitches can be.

There was about 4 of us gettin our giggity gig out on the dancefloor, u know doing the usual “dance around our imaginary bonfire” dance when in the corner of my eye I see a dude walking in my girls direction. In my head I immediately went “uh-oh, she’s gonna give him a vagina,” and sure enough she did, but in my eyes she was the asshole.

He began to politely ask her to dance, but before he could even finish she literally ran away and shrieked “ew ew ew ew” loud enough for the poor guy to hear her. Shit, even I heard her. This dude was not the flyest, but he also wasn’t rude either. He didn’t even bust out with a “fuck u bitch, u ain’t all that anyway,” afterwards. He simply shook his head and walked away. At that moment I secretly apologized to all the brave gentlemen in the world who’ve gotten rejected at the club on behalf of the woman race and gave my girl the “now was that really necessary?” face.

Later on that night the same guy tapped me on the shoulder, said “excuse me,” and asked me to dance. I said sure, partly out of pity, but mostly because my jam (which I don’t remember anymore) was playing. So we danced, and not once did he try to hump me or attempt to strategically gyrate his way towards my way. I don’t even think he touched me, we just – danced. Like normal people do. And when about 2 songs were done and all my friends had left the dancefloor I told him thanks for the dance, and he graciously replied thank-you, shook my hand, and left. See girls? PAINLESS.

Now I know not every chick has a soft spot in their heart for rejects or is as friendly as me, but u ain’t gotta be! U don’t have to be nice – just don’t be so fucking unecessarily mean! I’ve had my share of bad male encounters at the club but that’s where u have separate the men from the boys, in which case you women have to separate urself from the stuck-up bitches. There’s a lot of talk about club ettiquette in regards to what men shouldn’t do to women, but we can’t deny the fact that there’s just some shit women shouldn’t do as well.

Ladies, it takes a lot of guts for a dude to come up to a female at the club and ask her to dance especially when she’s around her wingwomen, so please go easy on them when crushing their hopes and dreams of finding love (or booty) in the club. Imagine if u saw some broad throw attitude at ur little brother? I bet it would be WWIII up in that bitch. I know u just tryna look cute on the dancefloor and enjoy a night out with ur girls, but there are ways of saying that without running away from a guy and screaming “ew ew ew.”

With the exception of ass invaders who dance behind u without asking, and douche-bags who get all buthurt after u plolitely decline a dance, most men deserve a chance, or at least an easy let-down. A few of them actually go to the club to dance, and because u know damn well we’d call them fags for doing the imaginary pow-wow dance with each other, they ask us to dance DUH!

So the next time a man simply says hello to u in line, say hi. The next time a man compliments u on ur outfit, just smile. And if he (God forbid) asks u to dance and u don’t feel like it aka he’s not cute enough, just say “no thank-you.” ‘Cuz the next time u go out and walk from the front of the club to the back and not a single dude pays attention to u, u’ll wish u had been a little nicer to that guy who told u u were beautiful the month before.

And seriously if all else fails, “I’m looking for my girls,” works everytime *winks*

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