RoseElephant copy.jpg
  • dearabi

Laugh Now, Cry Later.

Everytime I tell someone new about my crippling awkwardness, I get the same three responses:

1. You? Awkward? But you write a sex blog! 2. It can’t be that bad. 3. JUST SMILE!

Yes I’m awkward, it’s not a damn sex blog, it is that bad, and Lord you’re going to want to grab some tissue and a tub of ice-cream for this one. 

Believe it or not, but I’ve only attempted to smile at a stranger I thought was attractive twice in my life – both to no avail. The first time I was on the phone with Gail. I was walking down 5th St. when some cute guy was walking towards me. Just a few days prior, I had a serious conversation with Gail about making an effort to come out of my awkward shell. So I put my big girl pants on, and turned the corners of my mouth upwards whilst looking at Mr. Handsome. I was halfway to success before I started to cringe, and ended up laughing instead. Fail.

Fast forward at least two years later, and I’m walking down 2nd St. with Ren when I see a handsome man make eye contact with me. I’m having a good hair day, so I grow 1/4th of a ball and try to smile at him. Instead, I start laughing again. WTF?! Confused, Ren asks what was so funny (because apparently our conversation wasn’t) and I tell her my love life. My fucking non-existent love life is funny.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do something I do at least 20 times a day anyway. I almost rather tell a person they’re handsome than smile at them. And God forbid I’d ever have to wink at a cute guy to save my life. I’d be DOA. At any rate, if you’re a cute guy and I’m laughing at you, ask for my number.

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

I Sea You.

There's nothing like the sea, to make you see. Just how small you really are. Not small like the grains of sand covering the beach Small like the stars, Fire and energy in the distance, shining throug

The Audacity.

A few days ago I shared a story on Instagram about the time I moved to New York to pursue writing, yet told the cashier at Brooklyn Industries I was an Office Manager. My friend in the nicest way poss