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  • dearabi

It’s Gonna Be OK. Right.

“Holy shit, what the fuck have I done?” she thinks

In slow motion she feels the anxiety start to envelope her, all while her heart beats in overdrive. Emotions. So many emotions. All the emotions. They rape her insides, leaving bruises on her heart and scratches in her soul. What if she fails? What if it’s horrible? What if she doesn’t like it? What if she comes back? She’s officially FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Because she’s scared. Worried. Anxious. And scared some more.

But also because she’s excited. She’s happy. She’s proud. And brave. What if she does fucking amazing? What if it’s the best decision she’s ever made in her entire life? What if she never wants to go back? 

Sometimes success can be just as scary as failure. 

We want something SO BAD we can taste it. Then don’t know what to do with it, once it’s in our hands. The worst thing she could do is not try at all. Baby-steps baby-girl. You’ve been through worse, and this is wonderful.

It’s gonna be OK, right?

No.

It’s gonna be OK. Right.

No.

It’s gonna be more than OK.

She wipes the tears from her eyes, and checks in the mirror to make sure she doesn’t look like use just cried a thousand tears for the city she loves.

She smiles then thinks, “Holy shit, what took me so long?”

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