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I Told My Girls You Can Get It

Laying half-dead on Ren’s couch one Sunday as she played the guitar and serenaded the room in her falsetto, I realized two things: 1) I really need to stop drinking on an empty stomach, and 2) I’d hit.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “Women are fucking sexy.” While I don’t swing that way (surprisingly lol), I can definitely appreciate a beautiful female – especially a talented, smart, and funny one. And there was one right in front of me, strumming her guitar with no makeup, in jammies, with glasses on. The entire room fell in love right then and there.

I’m always talking about the types of men that could get it, so it only makes sense to show the females some love as well. The following are a few things that aren’t mandatory characteristics in a potential partner, but are definite boner inducing bonuses.

1) Musically inclined: A woman that can sing, emcee, beat-box, DJ, or play an instrument can get it. Are you kidding me? I nearly proposed to Sade myself when I saw her in concert and heard her seductively raspy voice. Imagine that voice singing to you at your wedding, or whispering “Harder” in your ear at night.

2) Artistic: A woman that can draw, paint, sculpt, graphic/fashion design can get it. I believe that creativity cannot be learned. It’s amazing how differently creative people look at the world. They make things like the bedroom more exciting, and work wonders with their hands. Duhhh.

Artist Allison Torneros

3) Athleticism: A woman who is actively active can get it. Not only does this call for toned legs and good stamina, but athleticism is usually accompanied by an adventurous attitude. These women aren’t scared to try new things, or possibly get hurt. They want to taste life … and if you’re lucky other things as well.

Fighter Michelle Waterson

4) A woman who can teach a man something can you guessed it – GET IT. While it’s more likely to crush a man’s ego, I’m going to assume that men who are secure with themselves can appreciate a woman who can teach them something new, like how to drive a stick if they don’t know how already. At least I’d hope so. If anything, it’s always a plus when a man learns something pleasantly surprising about a woman … like their fondness of getting choked.

Damn, when I think about it, there’s not too many women who CAN’T get it lol. No fucking wonder it’s so hard for some men to be faithful.

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