RoseElephant copy.jpg
  • dearabi

Here No Evil

How the fuck did I get here?

Oh that’s right. I was drunk. He was there. And me and him are on a “break” … apparently I just don’t know it yet. I can’t believe this just happened. Again. I’m better than this. He doesn’t deserve this. And he definitely doesn’t deserve this. 

How the fuck did she get here?

Talk about right place at the right time. I hadn’t seen her in so long, but I had a feeling she’d be here. That’s why I went. But I never imagined she’d text me. What more be happy to see me. What more wind up in my bed. Whatever. Fuck cares how she got here. She’s here.

How did he get here?

He was just supposed to be FUN. Dinner and drinks. Someone to pass the time, and make me forget. My go-to when I wanted to watch a movie, or text someone “I miss you,” even if I really didn’t miss him. A dicktraction distraction. A rebound. I knew who I really wanted to be with, so why am I with him?

How did I get here?

With her. Again. Outside. Inside. Restaurants. Museums. Basketball games. Clubs. Spending money and time. On her, with her. And when I’m not with her I’m thinking of her. What she’s wearing. What she’s doing. Who she’s with.

How the fuck did we get here? 

This can’t be happening. We can’t be together. It’s getting too close for comfort. Yet s/he is my comfort. It was never supposed to get this far. It was all fun and games … until it wasn’t. It will never work. IT CAN’T WORK

He’s an asshole. I’m an asshole.

I deserve more. She deserves more.

He can’t be the man I want him to be. I can’t be the man she wants me to be. At least not right now. At least not right now.

But I just like him so much. But I just like her so much.

We were never supposed to be here.

Recent Posts

See All

The Countdown.

T - 31 Days: The Lease. I knew this time would eventually come. Something to break my heart and make it real. I didn't need to sign it until the 6th, but I signed it on the 2nd. I purposely scheduled

I Still Choose You.

I unpack all my boxes. I have dinner with friends. I borrow three forks. And a box cutter. And a wine opener. I put new sheets on my bed. I don’t cry. My mom comes over to keep me company for a few da

The Sunday Sads.

Sundays were made for lazing in bed. Pancakes for breakfast and tummy scratches. The farmer's market and taking your time, to lay in the grass, to soak in the sunshine, to listen to kids playing in th

  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Twitter Icon
  • White Instagram Icon

© 2020 I'll make you feel things.