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He Said, She Said.

If I had started this blog in my early twenties, it probably would’ve been called “Men Are the New Dogs.” Then, I grew up and recognized the part I played in my own downfall, and realized that dogs will always show up when given a bone. I try to write as objectively as possible in regards to certain topics, even if my personal eperiences have been negative. But sometimes you just gotta let a bitch verbally backhand someone.

A huge pet peeve I have with men is when they don’t take responsibility for their actions. You fucked up? Fine. We all do, but if you weren’t man enough to tell the truth, at least be man enough to own up to your lie. The worst is when they pin women against each other in an effort to take the blame off themselves. We are no better for giving in to this. But men have this talent of making it seem as if they’re completely innocent or oblivious to a situation to the point where they actually start to believe themselves. Ladies, believe me when I say I’ve heard it ALL. Below are four lines I’ve heard that you may want to think twice about before picking up the phone to call HER, when you should really be hanging up the phone on HIM.

1) The “She’s crazy”: Probably the most popular of the plots, this explanation has been used for as long as I can remember. It’s easy, and often times can be true. But I will warn you, women are rarely ever crazy without being provoked. So if the man you are “dating” gets his windows smashed in, more than likely it’s because his girlfriend just found out he was sleeping with YOU. I’m not saying it warrants the broken glass, I’m just saying more than likely she didn’t wake up one morning and out of the blue decide to be crazy.

2) The “She’s annoying”: Also known as the “She’s on my nuts” to some, but not to be confused with the “She’s crazy”. This is when the man paints a picture of some lovesick puppy whose feelings he just doesn’t want to hurt. He’ll tell you she calls him 24-7, invites herself on tropical vacations with him, and just “shows up at the club,” he’s at. When in reality, he always answer the call (and makes them too!), invites her places, and take her home … then to breakfast the next morning. Ladies, ladies, ladies. She’s not annoying – she’s his girl.

3) The “She knows wassup”: This plot holds a special place in my heart. This is when you give the man false credit for being so open with the women he is involved in, that you can’t help but respect him and the situation even if it’s not one you’re happy with. You have to be careful with this one, because it gets tricky. You never know the full extent of information being given or withheld. It’s one thing to be one of the many women he’s fucking, and another to be the fucking “other woman”.

4) The “She’s jealous of you”: A lot of women I know have egos. They care about pride, so this works rather effectively. He’ll say some shit like, “She feels really threatened by you.” For women not well-seasoned in the game this is dangerous, because it gives them a false sense of victory or satisfaction. When more than likely, he told the other chick the exact same shit. And next thing you know you’re reading her blog, and she’s stalking your Instagram all while the both of you are still sucking his dick.

Alas, some men are just that incognizant that they don’t realize a woman will only react accordingly. A little goes a long way to those who are infatuated. So if the man you’re dating/fucking/seeing/whatever has fed you one of the above lines, I’m not saying that he’s lying – I’m just saying chew before you swallow.  And make sure the lines you receive aren’t crooked.

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