My vagina is currently going through a bout of depression due to its lack of penis. It’s been almost eight months since I last felt the weight of a naked man on top of me *wipes tear from eye* and if I hear another one of my girlfriends wah about not having had sex in “forever,” aka two measly ass months, I will straight kick them in their goddamn clitoris.
Most people assume that since I’m a female and not hideous, it should be easy to get laid. I thought so too.
See, there’s this guy that has made it very apparent to me that he’s down with the get down. He’s tall, handsome, witty, and has good job. But that’s just it. He’s good looking, funny, and has his shit together. I don’t want to just fuck him, I’d want to date him AND fuck him. The bitch in me doesn’t want to waste a man with this much potential on just a booty-call while I’m in town. Not only would I go into sex withdrawals once I left, but I’d also hate myself for ruining not only an opportunity to make a love-connection, but more importantly a networking connection. Love don’t pay the bills honey, and I didn’t move to New York to find love (althoughI would gladly accept it if it came my way).
So now what? Does this mean I gotta fuck losers with nothing going for themselves, so that I don’t get attached to the idea of a future with them? While that sounds amazing, I think I’ll just continue on renewing my virginity. Beggars can’t be choosers, but I rather be choosey than desperate.