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  • dearabi

Friends With Benefits

*All names were changed in this post to protect the innocent, the crazy, and the butt-hurt.

I know every girl says this about her girlfriends (as they should), but my team is SCRONG. They’re funny, cultured, thoughtful, talented, intelligent, and genuinely good people. To top it all off, they’re gorgeous. At least that seems to be the consensus everytime they walk in the spot. What can I say? I’m a lucky girl.

On any given night out, the ratio of good looking women to men is about 3:0. If it’s crackin 5:1, and if there’s more than one handsome man in the same building it calls for a round of shots at the bar. We know you exist, but you’re either taken, gay, or far from few. That’s why when we see a handsome group of friends, we can’t help but check them out … even if we’re already dating one of them.

In high school I went out with a guy named Ramone. Ramone was fine and I was happy. His best friends name was Eddie. Eddie was fine too, and I didn’t mind. I remember one day sitting on the couch next to Ramone with his best friend sitting directly across from me thinking, “Damn, my mans best friend is cute as fuck.” Was I attracted to Eddie? No. Did I wonder how big his dick was? No. But every now and then I would catch a glimpse of him in my peripherals and secretly thank his face for looking the way it did.

I said I was happy with my relationship, not blind. I was only 15 at the time so I felt a little guilty until my girl told me about the time she became momentarily paralyzed when her boyfriends good friend did a pull up in front of her in a tank top. Aha, so I wasn’t the only one!

It’s safe to say that everyone does this. Men, women, dogs, cats, ladybugs, etc. Love may be blind, but you’ll still notice a hot guy when he walks in front of you. That’s why underneath all the superficial requirements and shallow preferences, you ultimately have to be with a person for who they are on the inside. Otherwise, who’s to say you won’t want to leave them for their good looking best friend? Shit, who’s to say they won’t leave you for your hot best friend?

This entire subject was brought to my attention because a girl friend of mine asked if it was wrong to check out her boyfriends homeboys. Obviously, my answer is no. However, I do think there is a difference between simply (and QUICKLY mind you) checking them out, and imagining the two of you having sex on the kitchen counter while your boyfriend picks up Chinese food. Either way, don’t be mad if he comments on how your bff’s tits just keep getting bigger and bigger. No one likes double standards.

As usual it’s about balance. In this case, it’s a balance of being human, respecting your partner, and your partner trusting your relationship enough to not care. After all, how can he expect you to hook his boy up with your girl if you thought he was an ogre? Just because you already have what you want, it doesn’t mean you can’t take a glance at the menu. Just don’t go fucking any of the appetizers.

In this movie, they were all friends before TI's character got sent to jail, and COME ON. You really expect me to be dating Paul Walker and not notice how good Idris Elba looks in a suit at the family and friends Christmas party? I mean, seriously?


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