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  • dearabi

For Real

“Real men aren’t perfect and perfect men aren’t real, but a real man can make your life feel perfect”~Unknown

A while ago on Formspring someone asked me what my definition of a good/perfect man was. I laughed at the thought, drafted a blog about it, and never looked back. Until my sister from another mister emailed me the quote above, and I finally found the inspiration to finish.

Seven years ago, this list would’ve been long, tedious, unnecessary, and most of all RIDICULOUS. He would’ve had to been tall, hot, have tattoos, body piercings, not be a player, make me laugh, have goals in life, have a good job, know how to fight, be sweet, have some sort of talent, be athletic, own a car, know how to drive a stick, be able to dance, have nice shoes, dress steezy, yadda-yadda-yadda. Good God I was so dense.

If you had asked me this question three(ish) years ago, this list would’ve been non-existent. I would’ve either said, “They don’t exist,” and cried myself into next Wednesday or said, “Fuck love!” and got shit face. Good God I was so difficult.

The funny thing is, I still don’t believe there’s a perfect anybody out there. I’ve even lost a little faith in the “good guys.” And to be real honest, I still like my men tatted up with rhythm. The only difference is now I know what is real, and what is possible. And while I still have my preferences, I know what’s important and what matters. It’s not lowering your standards (‘cuz trust I still have high but reasonable ones), it’s planting a strong foundation that you can build on so that later, you don’t have to tear anything down. Build up without building walls.

I feel like the older you get, the less requirements you have in the opposite sex. However, we’re more strict with these requirements because we recognize what we will and won’t tolerate.

And just so you know, my list today consist of integrity, respect, communication, drive, and humor. It may sound like a lot but these are things I expect in myself as well. So if there’s someone out there reading this and shaking their head deeming me demanding, I’m SORRY. I’m sorry … you want so little from yourself and from a partner, for real.

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