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  • dearabi

First for Everything

There are a lot of important “firsts.” First time u fell in love, first time u got into a fight, first time u got wasted, first time u smoked weed, etc. etc. the list goes on. But perhaps the most memorable (or least memorable for some lol) is the first time u had s-e-x.

When I think about my first time, I can’t help but consider myself very lucky.

I was 17 at the time (or 16?), and honestly I’m surprised I lasted that long. In middle school I had dated experienced dudes way older than me. I was sneaking outta the house to go to theirs and coming back before the sun came up (parents I hope this teaches u to lock ur daughters in their room at nite lol). And high school half-days meant spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven sessions. Needless to say, I had put myself in many situations where having sex seemed inetivable but never happened. Shit, lemme pat myself on the back right quick.

It wasn’t until I had reunited with an old friend from middle school (who we shall call “Jay”) that I considered taking the plunge. I have no idea what it was about him either. I had been with dudes waaay cuter, but for some reason I was just really attracted to this guy with dreadlocks, tattoos, and multiple piercings that wore only Earth tones, and smelled like nag champa. He was sooo not my typical East Coast Tims wearing or Bay Area blunt rolling, SF beanie sportin type. But. BUT. He was so smooth on that spiritual Dead Prez “Mind Sex” tip and he had the most amazing, cut, arms that Jedi-mind slid my panties off everytime I’d sleep over. Suckerrrrr. GO FUCKING FIGURE.

Anyway, the night I lost my virginity to him I had gotten dropped off by some friends to his house after watching Toy Story on Ice (i think) Not even 5 minutes there, his pager starts blowing up and he says, “I’ll be right back.” After at least half an hour later, he comes back and I find out his ex-girlfriend was outside and they were arguing over some other booshit. Of course I was like “WTF?” but obviously it didn’t bother me too much ‘cuz we still had sex that night. And when I mean sex, I mean it in the most insignificant, technical way. Sometimes, I even count our encounter as a 1/2 on my list of “How many people have u slept with?” ‘Cuz on the real (do people even say that still?) he stuck it in once, pulled it out, and then I made him stop.

I’m an asshole huh? LOL. The only reason I even count it, was ‘cuz he had let me know later on that I bled on his sheets. It didn’t hurt, it was just uncomfortable. And the only reason I stopped wasn’t because he was probably still banging his ex-girlfriend. I stopped because I felt guilty. Guilty that I was losing my virginity to this dude, who wasn’t even my man, who I didn’t even remotely love. But this is why I feel extremely lucky.

Because in my opinion, I feel that had I lost my virginity to someone I thought I loved, it would’ve been that much harder for me when we broke up. And I most likely would’ve been tramautized for a while. I’m not telling u guys that losing ur virginity is overrated and to lose it to someone u don’t care about to protect ur heart … I’m just sayin. It worked out for me, because the next guy I was with ended up being my first love, and the sex we had definitely didn’t count as no “1/2”.

So unfortunately I don’t have this amazing story about the first time I lost my virginity. ‘Cuz really, the best way I can describe it is with this annecdote: “If I were a house, he broke into me. But nothing was stolen.” Not my heart, nor my peace of mind. It’s one of the very few things I regret in life.

Although now that I think about it? Damn, I should’ve let him finish lol.

So come on, now it’s your turn. Share your first time if u dare. U can comment on here anonymously with a fake email address, or if ur that shy leave it on my Formspring!

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