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Couples Therapy.

So I’m over here eating breakfast and applying for jobs, when in the corner of my eye a mess pops up on my television screen. And no matter how much I try to focus on my egg white omelet or emails, I cannot pry myself away from this train wreck otherwise known as VH1’s Couples Therapy.

I recognize a few people on there like K-Ci, Nik Ritchie (who if I look at with one eye open while shaking my head is kinda cute), and Too $hort. But the most interesting couple on the show by far is Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison.  For those of you who don’t know, Doug Hutchison is a 51 year-old actor who appeared on Lost, A Time to Kill, and a shitload of other movies/shows I don’t ever recall him being in. Courtney Stodden is … is … I have no idea other than the fact that she married Doug last year at the age of 16.

Do I think Courtney and Doug’s courtship is gross dysfunctional disturbing? Yes. But do I think he’s a pedophile? No. Do I think they really love each other? Yes. Would I allow my daughter to date someone 30+ years her senior while still in high school? OH HELL. But the fact of the matter is, much like the 15 year-old involved with R. Kelly – Courtney is very aware and willing of the situation at hand. The two fell in love over the internet when she signed up for one of his acting workshops before meeting in person. When he found out how old she was, he even told her parents that he would stop seeing her if they disapproved.

But my qualm today isn’t about their actual relationship, that’s an entirely separate blog on it’s own. Today, I just wanted to unleash the fury and random thoughts that were going on inside my head during the show in convenient bullet points, because I really don’t know how else to list them.

  1. I don’t have a problem with Courtney dressing like a slut because her tits are out. I have a problem with her dressing as a slut because her outfits are tacky as fuck. Even strippers have better outfits!

  1. Even so, I do not think Courtney is an actual slut because of the way she dresses. I think she’s a slut because of the way she insinuates that she wants to fuck Nik Richie.

  2. Other cast members deemed her clothing inappropriate saying it made it hard for them to receive proper therapy. Please. The only things hard were the husbands. While I don’t think Shayna Lamas is “jealous” of Courtney, I do think she doesn’t trust that her husband won’t fuck her if given the chance to get away with it. If the marriage was tight, it shouldn’t matter wtf anyone else is wearing. Females need to stop worrying about the bitch that wants to fuck their husband, and start worrying about why their husband wants to fuck that bitch.

  3. Remember in movies when the “cool” kids would bully the “nerdy” kids that dressed in hand-me-downs? What’s the difference in this scenario other than the perpetrators are grown ass women that should know better in the presence of a 17 yo old?

  4. Real talk. Courtney should’ve back handed that old lady for stuffing money down her pants.

  5. Am I the only one that thinks Courtney is Aubrey O’ Day’s long lost sister?

Good God there’s so much fuckery going on in this post, I don’t even remember why I started writing it in the first place.

I will say that I have a special place in my heart for slutty dressed ditz’s like Courtney Stodden. She’s a sweet girl with good intentions. It’s just too bad she doesn’t choose the best ways to articulate her beliefs. She doesn’t want to adhere to the show’s dress code, because she feels that it’s  her form of self-expression and by changing, she’s letting the bullies win. She goes on further to say that she is a 21st century Erin Brocovitch. I just. I can’t. It’s actually painful to watch her defend herself.

Because I actually agree. You should be able to dress however you want to without being judged for it. And if a woman dresses provocatively, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a whore. Shit, I like my legs. Why can’t I wear a short dress to show them off? So I feel you girl. I get the point that you’re trying to prove by staying true to your whore attire. I get it, but 90% of the world won’t. And until you can back your theory – and clothing up with something intelligent to say and not just the dumb blonde giggle, you will always be a victim of your own creation.  Now go put on some fucking clothes. And for the love of God, stop taking pictures like the one below!

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