I love me some emojis. I truly believe they are the second best thing to happen to cell phones since the Nokia snake game. I don’t even remember what texting was like prior to their emergence. However, some emojis are still up for interpretation. I read numerous articles on what certain emojis represent, and disagreed with a lot of them. Thus, I decided to write my own guide to some of my most used emojis.
The “Really bruh?” emoji. This is definitely one of my most used emojis, and probably my favorite of them. It reflects the face of someone who is not the least bit amused, and gives negative fucks. Often times I’ll make this face in real life, although my eyes are too big to ever get that slitty. When there are no words, this usually says it all. When someone is being a smart ass or throwing you a backhanded compliment, they get this face.
The “I have nothing to say about that (but really, I have tons to say, it’s just none of my business)” emoji. This is the face you make when you see something you shouldn’t be seeing, or know so many secrets that they’re starting to spill out your ears. It reflects a log jam of emotions masked by a blank face. Imagine going to the club with your girl, and seeing a homie making out with a random ratchet. Then, the next day his girlfriend posts a picture of them at brunch with the caption “Happy anniversary babe!” This is the emoji you send to your girl along with a screenshot of that picture.
The “I can’t even/Nooooo, she wasn’t ready” emoji.
Another favorite of mine, this emoji is one of the most versatile of the bunch. It describes a plethora of emotions from feeling distraught, to being embarrassed, to witnessing immense failure. You use this emoji when you see a size 12 wearing a size 4. When you wake up the next morning after your best friends bachelorette party naked, handcuffed to the furnace next to a goat. When you see someone run full speed into a glass wall. The :40 second mark of this video.
The “Ashamed/Guilty as charged” emoji. Show me a woman with a smart phone, and I’ll show you a woman who’s used this emoji before. Probably the most straight forward of the emoticons, this is the face you send when someone asks if you’ve been following your juice cleanse and you just ate a burrito. But more than likely, it will be the emoji you use when you’re missing from Sunday brunch and you wake up to 6 text messages asking where you are.