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dearabi

>Can’t Hardly Wait

>If you looked through my cell phone you’d most likely think that either 1) I’m fat, 2) I’m a mother, or 3) I’m a fat mother. Because my pics consist of nothing but food porn, and babies (NTS: Never use the word porn and babies in the same sentence ever again).

The thing is, food and babies are two of my most favorite-tist things on the planet. I could never be sad in front of a big bowl of creme-fraiche and brown sugar with ginger swirl ice-cream, nor can I cry in front of a bright-eyed, chubby cheeked, dimple armed baby.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BABIES … long as they’re not mine. And I love playing with babies … long as I can return them to their rightful owners when I get tired or have better things to do like watch Entourage. This doesn’t mean I’d be a bad mother. It just means that right now? I’m too selfish to have a child of my own. Which to me, is a very selfless thing to acknowledge. There’s just too many things I want to do, and so many places I want to go. So many dreams to chase, and goals yet to accomplish. And it’s not that having a child inhibits you from living a full life, it’s just that when I do have one? They WILL BE MY LIFE.

Some women say they are ready to be mothers. Some women say they’d be awesome mothers. And while I know I wouldn’t suck, I am not one of those women. However, I do know that I’ll be the best mother I can possibly be. I know absolutely nothing about motherhood. Knowing how to change a diaper, or the names of all the Yo Gabba Gabba characters don’t mean shit. But I do know that motherhood will be nothing like I had imagined, yet everything I thought it would be and more.

On June 30, 2010, ‘lil miss Scarlett-Lee was born to two beautiful parents. One of which just so happens to be my beloved Califas-pinche-puta, Lauren. Congratulations on your beautiful baby-girl. I know you will be an amazing mother.


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