Originally writtn 12/06/2010
I don’t believe in too many things. Not the tooth fairy. Not Santa Claus. Not mermaids. Not even vampires (omg did I just say that?). But I do believe in love. Not just any kind of love, but the inconvenient kind that makes your soul sing and heart explode. I guess it’s the hopeless romantic in me. ‘Cuz even in my darkest hours, I always believed in that kind of love – I just never believed it could happen to me.
You know what I also believe in? Sex. Not just any kind of sex, but the headboard breaking kind that makes you speak in tongues and see visions of Jesus. What can I say? I guess it’s the horn-ball in me. But most importantly, I believe you can have that kind of love AND that kind of sex with the same person. Does everyone find it? I don’t know. But does it exist? I refuse to believe it doesn’t.
Why shouldn’t it? Why can’t it?
Granted, this type of relationship occurs far from often and may in fact be one in a million, but don’t let past relationships gone wrong or cynical, independent movie plotlines lead you to believe that it’s impossible. You don’t have to spend your days with rose colored stunnas on and your head in the clouds, but if you think that there is no such thing as explosive sex in a “healthy” relationship, then you’re obviously never going to have it ‘cuz you wouldn’t know to accept the opportunity even if you tripped and landed on its dick. Or even worse, you’ll allow yourself to settle or lower your standards based on false pretenses. Come on now, you gotta want more for yourself than that?!
Don’t get me wrong, you don’t need to have mind-blowing sex to be in a fully functional, nurturing relationship. Chances are someone dicked you down better than the dude you’re currently head over heels over now, and that’s OK. Sex isn’t EVERYTHING, but neither is love. And I’ve been in a relationship where I would’ve caught a bullet for my man – yet couldn’t stand to even tongue kiss him. So if something as complicated as a loving but sexless relationship exists, why can’t something as simple as having amazing sex with an amazing person exist too?
Remember, there’s a difference between being cynical and being realistic. I didn’t say the perfect man is out there, I said a sex life as good as the person you’re with is. And if you can’t believe in that, then you might as well believe in the Easter Bunny.