Dear Friend of a Friend Like Me,
I just wanted to say that WE’RE SORRY. Since you’re such an understanding person you’re probably thinking, “No it’s OK. Don’t be sorry” BUT LET US BE SORRY. Please. Because we know that we can be a bit much sometimes. And when I say “a bit,” I really mean, “a lot.” And when I say sometimes, I really mean a lot of the time.
We also wanted to say THANK YOU. Since you’re such a generous person you’re probably thinking, “No it’s OK. You don’t have to thank me.” No really, THANK YOU. Because you’ll never understand just how much we appreciate you being you while still allowing us to be us.
So sorry for missing out on Taco Tuesdays because we were caking with some jerk off. Thank you for still inviting us back the next Tuesday when the jerk off flakes on us.
Sorry for waking you up at 2am crying, because of what some asshole did to us. Thank you for always picking up the phone no matter how many times it happens.
Sorry for all those times we’ve asked for advice just to turn around and do the opposite. Thank you for not saying “I told you so,” when we both know you told us so.
Sorry for all the hours of venting about the same old shit from the same old guy. Thank you for always being there to listen every time we do though.
Sorry for not really being “there,” even though we’re right there. Thank you for giving us another chance to be there for you.
Sorry we haven’t been acting so awesome lately. Thank you for still thinking we’re awesome nevertheless.
Sorry for driving you *poof* crazy with our ridiculousness, over-thinking, text/email OCD, and neurotic tendencies. Thank you for driving us to grab a beer at the sports bar or red velvet latte at the bookstore just to make sure we don’t go crazy, act ridiculous, over think, have OCD, or be neurotic by ourselves.
Above everything else, we want to let you know how much we LOVE YOU. Since you’re still a jerk, you’re probably thinking, “No it’s OK. You don’t need get soft on me.” But broseph hat off, WE LOVE YOU BRO. Because we know just how difficult we can get, yet you still love us back despite it all.
Love, Every Girl Friend Of A Man Who Is Like Me