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  • dearabi


I watched for months, as a woman fell in love with a man who didn’t even know he was dating her. I cringed everytime she would passive-aggressively fire shots at him on Instagram, and braced myself whenever I’d read one of her long-winded, heart broken Facebook statuses. Then, I watched him publicly get boo’d up with someone else in half the time. I’m not going to lie, I found it mildly entertaining and a little comical. But after the asshole wore off, I felt for the girl. I may not have went on a social media tirade, but I can still empathize.

Because I’ve been there before. I’ve made plans, made the bed, made dinner, and made a man writhe in ecstasy. Then I struggled to make amends with myself for selling myself short afterwards. I’ve acted like a girlfriend to someone that wasn’t even my boyfriend. Then I watched him post pictures of him and his “friend” watch the sunset while on vacation together.

A friend of mine recently got into a relationship, and I swore I heard the hearts of a dozen girls simultaneously break. While I’m sure they all had different types of relationships with him, I’m willing to bet that the first question that popped in their heads was the same: “Why her?” Followed by, “What made her so special?” and “Why not me?” Then, “What did she do that I didn’t do?” Some of us are so delusional that we’ll attempt to answer our own questions. She has bigger boobs. I bet she puts up with a lot more shit. I wasn’t good enough. I bet she throws down in the kitchen. 

These are all petty, yet valid questions. And it’s always interesting to see who people actually end up in a relationship with. However, I think the real question you need to ask yourself is, “Why am I letting someone else affect my happiness?” The day you find the correct answer, will probably be the day you no longer have to ask the question.

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