On Sunday my girl told me about this big fight she had with her “ex-boyfriend turned kinda-sorta still her boyfriend but not really” the night before. It consisted of yelling, screaming, honking at 3am in front of her house, stubbornly walking home barefoot, and her purse being thrown out of a moving vechicle. They haven’t talked since. If you ask me, I think they’re both ridiculous. And probably, a little dysfunctional (I only say this because I know their situation). But – I also know they care a lot about each other. This doesn’t mean they should be in a relationship, BUT I told her I do think it means they should end on a better note, even if it’s not one sang together.
This morning my boss came in and I asked her how her weekend was. She’s currently training for a Breast Cancer walk and said she reconnected with an old friend whose sister coincidentally is her aunt’s bff. She had the pleasure of meeting her at a function in Golden Gate park yesterday and said that although she was tiny, her presence was enormous and full of life – especially for someone who had Stage 4 breast cancer and was just told she only had 6 months to live. I was amazed.
I told my boss that I don’t think I could handle knowing that I only had 6 months to live. I’m not even sure if I’d want to know. But she said she would, because it would give her time to prepare herself. Time to spend with those she cared about. And it would give her no time to let pride get in the way of making amends.
I began to think of the people I’d want to spend the last 6 months of my life with and it’s the same exact people I’d want to spend the next 6 months of my life with now, ailment-free. Do you know how you’d spend the last 6 months of your life? Who you’d spend them with? What you would do? The places you’d go? The things you’d say and the people you’d say them too? Don’t wait ’till the last 6 months to let them know.
I know EXACTLY what I’d do, and EXACTLY what I’d say. Sometimes life gets in the way of doing and saying them, but who knows when that life will be taken away. So even though I’m healthy, and probably in the best shape I’ve been since … well … forever, I’ll start off with this:
Thank-you. I’m happy for you. I miss you. I forgive you. I love you. I love you some more.
The people those 6 simple lines go out to should already know who they are. And if yall don’t? Here’s one more: I’m sorry.